Remember your first job? Your first heart-throb? The first time your child called you “Mama”? Those beginnings were so exciting and possibly overwhelming, but yet they throttled you forward to be the best at your job, as a partner and as a mother. You took your time thinking of ways you could separate yourself among peers to shine and you thought of ways to bring out the best in your work so you could grow individually and as a team. You spent hours searching for the chocolate chip cookie recipes because your sweetheart had a sweet-tooth and you made sure you had time to make that baby food from scratch because it would be healthier for your baby.
What the heck happened?
Fast forward several years and you’e not even sure what day it is LOL! You think back and ask yourself where you possibly could have had the time to do what you did and how did you function at the end of the day. It seems like just yesterday, yet here you are pooped and with a twitching eye from lack of sleep. Is this “rock bottom”? Have you found yourself eating meals in your car or crying for no reason from exhaustion? Where do we draw the line? When do we put ourselves first?
First take a deep breath. Take a moment to realize a few things. First you are a few ( if not more) years older then when you started out. Even though we mentally feel like we are 21 years old, let’s be real. Maybe we have had an injury that has slowed us down, maybe we have gained a few unwanted pounds, maybe we have taken on a bit too much (I definitely suffer from “always saying YES” syndrome). At the end of the day it all adds up. It adds up to exhaustion, frustration and possibly anxiety or depression. Feelings of being overwhelmed are so natural but we can’t let it overtake us. We are too STRONG for that …after all we are WOMEN!
We fall into patterns of feeling bad for ourselves and not focusing on how we can make things better. Believe it or not, although we as women are nurturers by nature, we always tend to forget to nurture ourselves. How can we change this and put ourselves first so we can be better for everyone we love and at everything we do? The old saying is so true “ If mama is not happy, no one is happy!
Put Yourself First (and the Passion for life will return)
Learn to Delegate
I will fully admit that I can be the worst at this. I have grown though and you know what, not only do I have more time to myself but I’ve helped my family feel useful and independent. I let my hubby and daughter take over Holiday wrapping. I still purch
ase most of the gifts, but I let him buy all the Gift Cards to give me a break. Also, they have “dinner theater” where they put on a funny show and have dinner together while they wrap gifts. They LOVE it! It is their special date night and has become tradition.
Everyone finds humor in different ways. Maybe you find a half hour to watch your favorite comedy, or maybe it’s just tuning into your favorite talk show on the way to work that makes you giggle . Laughter is so key on giving us that release from the stress of each day. My mother-in-law bought me a hilarious day-to-day calendar that has funny (and somewhat sarcastic) sayings with women that look like they are from the 50’s . I look at each day to remind myself not to take anything too seriously.
I have learned that I am such a better person and more even keeled when I get to exercise. I have also learned that I am less than friendly if if someone ( cough cough …the hubby) tries to suggest that I “skip” it because something needs to be done. My week is crazy ( just like everyone else)! I NEED that time just for me. It can be 10 minutes of stretching, and hour barbell class or a walk in the woods but I NEED it. Not only is is good for me physically but mentally I need a break and time to be alone with my thoughts ( or time to chat with a friend to remember that I am not alone with the craziness of being a mom). Find an exercise you enjoy and STICK WITH IT! The benefits are so worth it!
Let Go of Anger
It is ok to be angry . It is ok to be disappointed . It is ok to cry. Do all that and then LET IT GO.
Holding onto that anger takes soooo much energy . You are worth more than that - always remember that.
Speaking of anger, there is someone who likes to bring you to that boiling point - it never fails-right?.They are so unhappy themselves that no matter what you do to help or lift their spirits , they will bring you down with them . UGH!!! So exhausting ! They are energy vampires or negative Nellie’s …always sucking the last bit of energy or goodness you have left. Identify them for who they are and WALK AWAY! You can never help those who won’t help themselves but you WILL help yourself by not falling into their state of mind.
About Lee Rudman - I am the owner of Prisms Hair Design Studio & Spa in Framingham . I am an Educator for HotHeads Hair Extensions in N.E. and am a certified fitness instructor of 24years. I have three children and a terrific husband- life is good!